For the girl... That wonders if love will ever come.


Evolving Love

If the title of this post resonates with you, even just a little bit, then everything that follows this sentence is for you...

I've realised that when a lot of people meet Ty and I, or see photos of us, they tell me I'm lucky in love or say they hope they'll find the same thing one day. It's always surprising to me when I hear those things because just a few short years ago, I was the girl saying and hoping for just that - to be lucky enough to find someone to love that would love me back just as hard.

For most of my adult life (adult being from the age that it's deemed necessary to date) I was single. I was the perpetually single girl who never seemed to meet a guy that wanted to take things further, (I even used to regularly perform a poem about just how single I was) which meant that I was 24 by the time I had my first 'real' relationship. 

Whilst at the beginning I thought that relationship and that guy was everything I had been looking for and more, it actually turned out to be a pretty harrowing experience that left me with more than a few scars. It's interesting how at a point in time you can feel like you're so in love with a person and then in hindsight realise that it was anything but that. A great lesson in perspective right there. 

That's not the point of this story, though. This is the good part. Just two weeks after I finally broke up with Mr Bad Romance, I met a new guy and I could tell, right from the start, that he was wonderful. At first I hesitated because I'd literally just gotten out of one situation and I wasn't sure what the moral implications were of getting into another. However, I wasn't about to pass up on this great guy because of a situation that deserved no more of my time and emotion.

I decided to go with the flow and with my heart to just see where it all took me. All I can say is that I'll always be glad I did, because just two weeks later I was in my second 'real' relationship but this time with a man that taught me what being in love was really supposed to be like and how a good relationship should feel.

Being such a relationship beginner I had so much to learn about having a partner and including someone else in my life, it's weird to think about how much I've changed since I met Ty. More than that though, I still sit and marvel at how on earth my life even got here. How I ended up married to a guy that embodies everything I ever wished for and how my certainty that I'd always be single and probably never get married was completely false.

I was never the girl that always had a boyfriend, not even the girl that got a lot of male attention. I was the true definition of a late bloomer and honestly, if you'd spoken to me about finding love 3 years ago, I'd be the first person to tell you that I'd hoped and wished for love to come but wasn't sure if it ever would. I can tell you now that I couldn't have been more wrong.

What I've learned is this; Don't listen to that voice (yours or anyone else's) that tells you that it might not be possible. Meeting the right person is most definitely possible in a world that is getting smaller and smaller every day. It might not happen how or when you want it to, they might not live on the same continent as you, it might take a few years to find them and you may have to go through a few things (or people) first. It won't always feel comfortable and it most probably won't happen perfectly but if you're willing to challenge your perspective on love and relationships, if you're up for taking a risk with your feelings and pushing through any scars that old loves have left you with and if you're ok with not worrying about what people or society (or anybody at all) thinks, it's totally, completely and utterly possible that you will find your love

Love doesn't come knocking on our door out of the blue. We have to go out there and seek it, then once we've found it we have to work to build it, then work some more to keep it. Of course, if you're one of those people who really did have love come knocking on your door with a bunch of flowers and the promise of forever, you would actually be the true definition of 'lucky in love'. (And let's face it... How often has that happened?).